I read the yellow wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins-Gilman and it made perfect sense to me (until the end when weird things started to happen) It was as if someone who lived in a different time period went through something that I went through and I was just awed by the power of humanity which is joined through common experiences and stimuli, and although we live in very different societies, centuries we shared a similar experience..

I'm scared.
And tired.
sometimes I feel as if I'm loosing my humanity.
loosing my essence, what makes me who I am.
sometimes I feel as if I'm surrounded by hopelessness with occasional bursts of light.

I wish... but then I don't know what I wish.
I feel as if my life has somehow been stolen from me, or I've just given it away, but I'm not sure who I've given it to.

I feel myself being pulled in so many directions, I try to let go but my environment sometimes won't let me. And sometimes I don't want to let go.

I'm falling into a pit, a void. I'm tired.

I've been talking to a lot of women and girls lately and it seems that self-esteem is a real issue. I'm so depressed by how little self-esteem some girls have. I know as human beings we thrive on social interaction, but we can't listen to EVERYONE's opinions and stay sane!

I'm sick and tired of seeing girls take no pride in their accomplishments. I see talented girls who just wow me with their musical talents, intellect, or just plain personality, and yet they have no sense of self or worth and let people trample their thoughts and feelings, and don't defend themselves. Why don't they shout out to the world that they are talented, that they are interesting individuals, with passions and hobbies that are their own?!!

I was talking to a six year old and she told me that she wants to look like the models on magazine covers, but when I asked her why she said she didn't know. So even at age six she's already been brainwashed! No wonder girls loose confidence by the time they're teenagers - they've been told since they were old enough to know what a magazine is that this is the ideal of beauty and if they don't look like that they're obviously not lovable, or normal.

Be it single mothers raising children, college graduates or elementary school kids, I am getting really frustrated by the lack of self esteem in a lot of girls/ women. And banging my head trying to figure out what to do about it!

My advice to you if you're having self-esteem issues, don't listen to everyone's opinion, pick and choose wisely who you listen to and who you don't.

Also learn who you are before you try to follow someone or join a group, because you don't want to join a group just to belong, you need to belong to yourself before you can share yourself with anyone else.

And learn love of self, and knowledge of self. Don't believe everything you hear. And remember most things are just in your head, and sometimes all you need is an attittude adjustment. just because someone didn't say hi to you doesn't mean they don't like you, maybe they're just having a bad day, were day dreaming, or don't think you like them... So go ahead say hello first and you'll be surprised. ..

Love yourself!! Celebrate yourself!